TIPS ON OVERCOMING STAGE FRIGHT

Vivian was once invited to address a group of students and other invitees in a nearby school during a student symposium. She was well prepared ahead of time and very vast in the area she was given to deal on as a successful entrepreneur.

At first, she was very excited when she got the invitation; for the first time she will be opportune to do what she's being admiring the public speakers doing. She was so eager to discharge the message and can’t wait for the d-day. She had taken her time constructed every line and have it presented to her close associate, as she would to her audience. It was for sure a very marvelous speech and the friend had applauded her for the way and manners she presented it in her presence.

Her hope was very high for the score as she drove to the venue on the day of the presentation but got disappointed by the beating of her heart on sighting the large audience she was going to address. Her legs literary cease immediately she was called to the podium. She manages to walk up to the stage amid cheering noise and applauds of hundreds of spectators waiting to hear from her. Her legs tremble and her heart pounds nonstop. Her mouth immediately got dried up and she felt tremor all of her body. she suddenly became blunt as she manage to start her presentation, and the rest became a tale of humor and mockery. It was something but a great outing for her, a devastating one indeed!

Vivian is not alone. A lot of teens and youths also have or have had same experience in their life. It is called Stage fright or performance anxiety. It is the anxiety, fear, or persistent phobia which may be aroused in an individual by the requirement to perform in front of an audience, whether actually or potentially (for example, when performing before a camera). 

In the context of public speaking, this may precede or accompany participation in any activity involving public self-presentation. In some cases stage fright may be a part of a larger pattern of social phobia (social anxiety disorder), but many people experience stage fright without any wider problems. Quite often, stage fright arises in a mere anticipation of a performance, often a long time ahead. It has numerous manifestations: fluttering or pounding heart, tremor in the hands and legs, sweaty hands, facial nerve tics, dry mouth, and dizziness.

Studies reveal Stage fright may be observed in people of all experiences and backgrounds, from those completely new to being in front of an audience to those who have done so for years. It is commonly known among everyday people and may, for example, affect their confidence in job interviews. It also affects actors, comedians, musicians, and politicians. Many people with no other problems can experience stage fright, but some people with chronic stage fright also have social anxiety or social phobia which is chronic feelings of high anxiety in any social situation. 

Stage fright can also be seen in school situations, like stand up projects and class speeches.

It usually start by feeling sensation of being scared or nervous, when this occurs the individual involved start to experience anxiety.

According to a Harvard Mental Health Letter, "Anxiety usually has physical symptoms that may include a racing heart, a dry mouth, a shaky voice, blushing, trembling, sweating, light headedness, and nausea". 

It triggers the body to activate its sympathetic nervous system. This process takes place when the body releases adrenaline into the blood stream causing a chain of reactions to occur. This bodily response is known as the "fight or flight" syndrome, a naturally occurring process in the body done to protect itself from harm. "The neck muscles contract, bringing the head down and shoulders up, while the back muscles draw the spine into a concave curve. This, in turn, pushes the pelvis forward and pulls the genitals up, slumping the body into a classic fatal position", explained the Letter.

It is in trying to resist this position that the body begin to react. This causes shake in places such as the legs and hands. Several other things happen besides this. The muscles in the body contract, causing them to be tense and ready to attack. Second, "blood vessels in the extremities constrict". This can leave a person with the feeling of cold fingers, toes, nose, and ears. Constricted blood vessels also gives the body extra blood flow to the vital organs.

In addition, those experiencing stage fright will have an increase in blood pressure, which supplies the body with more nutrients and oxygen in response to the "fight or flight" instincts. This, in return, causes the body to overheat and sweat. Breathing will increase so that the body can obtain the desired amount of oxygen for the muscles and organs. Pupils will dilate giving someone the inability to view any notes they have in close proximity, however, long range vision is improved making the speaker more aware of their audience's facial expressions and nonverbal cues in response to the speaker's performance.

Lastly, the digestive system shuts down to prepare for producing energy for an immediate emergency response. This can leave the body with the effects of dry mouth, nausea, or butterflies'.

Stage Fright as we have seen above from Vivian's case is a very dangerous disease that is not worth living with but the good news is that it is curable. In fact Vivian was able to get over it, "after that embarrassing experience", she said, "I went back home completely devastated and demoralized to the extend I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks before a friend of mine intervened, she brought me some books that I read for the solutions. The authors of the books all pointed on same direction which is change of attitude. I heeded to the instruction and my next outing was wao!", she narrated. 

According to an online source (Wikipedia), "many famous people have had stage fright and were able to overcome their problem. Such stars as Al Jolson, Brian Wilson, Virginia O'Brien, Michael Gambon, Lorde, Jason Alexander, Mose Allison, Maya Angelou, David Brenner, Peter Coyote, Olympia Dukakis,Richard Lewis, Barbra Streisand, Adele, Niall Horan, Frankie Howerd, Jackie Evancho, Mariah Carey, Amanda Seyfried and many more have dealt with performance anxiety.

In some cases, famous stars have struggled to cope with their anxiety. Hugh Grant says he got through one film only by filling himself "full of lorazepam." In 2006, English Pop Star Robbie Williams cancelled his record breaking Stadium tour due to severe stage fright. He didn't tour again until 2013.”

The following tips can help you get over stage freight:

•  Shift the focus from yourself and your fear to your true purpose—contributing something of value to your audience.

• Stop scaring yourself with thoughts about what might go wrong. Instead, focus your attention on thoughts and images that are calming and reassuring.

• Refuse to think thoughts that create self-doubt and low confidence.

• Practice ways to calm and relax your mind and body, such as deep breathing, relaxation exercises, yoga, and meditation.

•  Exercise, eat well, and practice other healthful lifestyle habits. Try to limit caffeine, sugar, and alcohol as much as possible.

• Visualize your success: Always focus on your strength and ability to handle challenging situations.

• Prepare your material in advance and read it aloud to hear your voice.

•  Make connections with your audience: Smile and greet people, thinking of them as friends rather than enemies.

• Stand or sit in a self-assured, confident posture. Remain warm and open and make eye contact.

• Give up trying to be perfect and know that it is OK to make mistakes. Be natural, be yourself.

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GREATNESS: A CHOICE, COURSE AND THE SCORE

Greatness entails the quality of outstanding importance or eminence, illustriousness, fame or renowned. Great one is the one who is important in the society and worthy of note; the one whose name is written in gold in the book of history and carried along from generation to generation. Great men are honorably selfless: the one who gave up his sleep for others to sleep; the one who gives himself headache in order to heal others headache. Great men even though they die, their names and deeds remain immortal.

Greatness is not physical wealth even though it attracts physical wealth. It is the wealth of mind, and only the wealthy of mind attains it. That is the reason why majority desires to be great while few made it to greatness.

Shakespeare rather opined, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them"(William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night). 

Although that seems to be true, but definitely not what it is, we should try not to misunderstood wealth with greatness. Greatness is not an inheritance but achievement, a score of rightful decision, determination and hard work. It is not luck but a choice. 

Everyone is born great, but not everyone chooses to be great. Yes, greatness is in the mind and everyone poses a mind; but it is a choice, a course and the score. Do not be misunderstand it, wealth can be inherited not greatness. You can only inherit wealth not greatness. Someone can make you wealthy but you can only make yourself great.Yes people can help you in your part of greatness but they can never make you become great, you choose it and give it  yourself.

You must choose to be great and follow the right route to greatness; the end lies the score of the successful journey - greatness.  Lucius Annaeus Seneca rightly observed, "It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness".

The truth is this, if you want to be great, think and act great. This is because greatness doesn’t come through desire alone. You have to think then “act.” Aristotle’s promise is this: "if you want a virtue, act as if you already have it and then it will be yours." Change comes through action, and action comes through thinking. You must think first, Act, then you become. It is natural, you become what you think, thus Paul wrote, “...be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."(Romans 12:2)

The Patron Saint of Manliness, Teddy Roosevelt, also lived by this principle of acting in order to become.  He said:
"There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to “mean” horses and gun-fighters; but by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid".

Teddy wanted to be fearless even though he wasn’t. Instead of sitting around and thinking his way into courage, he put himself into dangerous and uncomfortable situations and acted courageously. Eventually he became the man who led the charge up San Juan Hill and journeyed down an unexplored river in the Amazon. He took action in order to become the man he wanted to be.

Modern psychologists have a theory on why acting-to-become is such an effective way of changing who you are and how you feel about yourself, this is termed cognitive dissonance. It explains that when there is a conflict between your self-perception and how you’re actually behaving, you experience dissonance or tension, and your brain moves to close the gap by shifting how you feel about yourself to match how you’re acting.


Hence, if you want to achieve greatness, you must not see it as ”luck" but as an achievement based upon right decision and hard work. You must take the decision, trade the path and land to that glorious city of greatness. 

Don't be confused, greatness doesn't mean being "master of all", it means being outstanding in a particular field of endeavor. Knowing what to do, when to do it and how best to do it. It must not have a something so big or overwhelming but that little thing you have interest at doing, with must effort and dedication, you can work to make it big. Ray Lewis thus said, "Greatness is a lot of small things done well. Day, after day. Workout after workout. Obedience after obedience. Day after day". Ziz Ziglar in his submission stated that you do not have to be great to start but you start to be great.

Greatness calls for creativity and innovation. Doing what everyone else has been doing but in different way and come out big with a different landmark result. The difference you make is what makes you great. It is the difference that people sees and reference you for, as no great man ever acclaim himself great. William Hazlitt is on the same page when he put, "No really great man ever thought himself so" (William Hazlitt Whether Genius is Conscious of Its Powers?) 

You're not great if you've not make any difference and people have not seen any reason to talk about you. Greatness is not an ordinary occurrence for ordinary people; it is a great task that you must first condition your mind for. It requires feeling and acting beyond ordinary, overall transformation of your ordinary person into extraordinary being, thinking differently and seeing things in the eye a great man.

 In the words Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night." 

 A Yiddish Proverb also says, "If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep."   

Above all, seek divine presence as no one would claim he has power of his own and it is only with God that you can do all things. (cf Philippians 4:13). 
In the words of Albert Einstein, "When the solution is simple, God is answering." 

Thus Lucius Annaeus Seneca submits, “It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a God."
It is in you! So start now, make the right choice, follow the right course, think it, act it and you will definitely become great!

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THINGS YOU DO BUT NEVER KNOW WHY

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GROWING UP: UNDERSTANDING PUBERTY AND ADOLESCENCE

PUBERTY

Puberty is the time in which a child's sexual and physical characteristics mature. It occurs due to hormone changes.

The exact age a child enters puberty depends on a number of different things, such as genes, nutrition, and gender. During puberty, endocrine gland produce hormones that cause body changes and the development of secondary sex characteristics.
In girls, the ovaries begin to increase production of estrogen and other female hormones.
In boys, the testicles increase production of  testosterone.

The adrenal glands produce hormones that cause increased armpit sweating, body odor, acne, and armpit and pubic hair. This process is called adrenarche. The child will often need an underarm deodorant or antiperspirant during this time.

PUBERTY IN GIRLS

Breast development is the main sign that a girl is entering puberty. The first menstrual period (menarche) usually follows within about 2 years.

Before the first menstrual period, a girl will normally have:
An increase in height
An increase in hip size
Clear or whitish vaginal secretions
Pubic, armpit, and leg hair growth

Menstrual cycles occur over about 1 month (28 to 32 days). At first, the menstrual periods may be irregular. A girl may go 2 months between periods, or may have two periods in 1 month. Over time, periods become more regular. Keeping track of when the period occurs and how long it lasts can help predict when the next menstrual period will occur.

After menstruation starts, the ovaries begin to produce and release eggs, which have been stored in the ovaries since birth. About every month after menstruation starts, an ovary releases an egg, called an ovum. The egg travels down a Fallopian tube, which connects the ovary to the womb.

When the egg reaches the womb, the lining of the womb becomes thick with blood and fluid. This happens so that if the egg is fertilized, it can grow and develop in the lining to produce a baby. (It is important to remember that fertility comes before emotional maturity, and pregnancy can occur before an adolescent is prepared for parenthood.)

If the egg does not meet with sperm from a male and is not fertilized, it dissolves. The thickened lining falls off and forms menstrual blood flow, which passes out of the body through the vagina. In between the menstrual periods, there may be a clear or whitish vaginal discharge. This is normal.

During or just before each period, the girl may feel moody or emotional, and her body may feel puffy or swollen (bloated). Premenstrual syndrome ( PMS) may begin to develop, especially as the girl gets older.

In girls, puberty is usually finished by age 17. Any increases in height after this age are uncommon. Although a girl has reached full physical maturity at this time, her educational and emotional maturity continue to grow.

PUBERTY IN BOYS

The first sign of puberty in boys is enlargement of both testicles. Afterward, boys will normally experience:
Faster growth, especially height
Hair growth under the arms, on the face, and in the pubic area
Increased shoulder width
Growth of the penis, Scrotum (with reddening and folding of the skin), and testes
Nighttime ejaculations (nocturnal emissions or "wet dreams")
Voice changes

The testes constantly produce sperm. Some sperm can be stored in a structure called the epididymis. Sometimes the stored sperm are released as part of the normal process to make room for new sperm. This can occur automatically during sleep (nocturnal emissions) or following masturbation or sexual intercourse. Nocturnal emissions are a normal part of puberty.

ADOLESCENCE

Adolescence is the period between puberty and adulthood. It is the time between the beginning of sexual maturation (puberty) and adulthood. It is a time of psychological maturation, which a person becomes "adult-like" in behavior.

Adolescence is considered to be the period between ages 13 and 19, also refer to as the teen ages. The adolescent experiences not only physical growth and change, but also emotional, psychological, social, and mental change and growth.

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LOOK BACK! SHOW APPRECIATION

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision. The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, Never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” The youth answered “none”.

The director asked,  “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?” The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees”.

The director asked,  “Where did your mother work?” The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect”.

The director asked,  “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?” The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me”.

The director said, “I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning”.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid. The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future. After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked:  “Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?” The youth answered,  “I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes”.

The Director asked,  “please tell me your feelings”. The youth said, “Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship”.

The director said,  “This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired”. Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

Moral: If one doesn’t understand and experience the difficulty it takes to earn the comfort provided by their loved ones, than they will never value it.  The most important thing is to experience the difficulty and learn to value hard work behind all the given comfort.

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JUDGE NOT, EVERYONE HAS A STORY

An old Man was  traveling back home with his 24 years old boy. They were in a train with other passengers while the boy was very excited as he was seeing out from the train’s window and keep shouting every now and then. Again, when they pass  through a bushy area the boy shouted…

“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”

Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed…

“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”

The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…

“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”The old man smiled and said…“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.

Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you.

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INDELIBLE SCARS OF BAD TEMPER

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led

him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

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BEWARE OH SWEET HEART

Duping, rapping and killing of young girls at hotels is on the increase now, warn yourself, your sisters, wife, relations and friends against visiting strangers not even the one seems to have been known merely because he has come to visit you.

I don't mean to say you should block yourself out from online presence or stop communicating with strangers outrightly. Truth be told, we are in internet era, and no amount of cybercrime can make us stop the usage of internet. This is the gospel truth and we must accept it as it be. All we need do is be more careful as we would in the real world. Just as in the real world, there is on the cyber world constant interaction between the good, the bad and the ugly.

Therefore, be cautious to always be on a safer side. Be polite online but also use your senses. The Internet is a another big world in the bigger world, some might be fortune, some fortunate, some misfortune and some unfortunate. it is the same world you know where every positive has a corresponding Negative. Obviously, good and genuine persons are on the internet, likewise fake, devilish and dubious persons as well.

The following Guideline sure would help to some extent in cubing the menace of girls duping, rapping and killing resulting from the social media which is the most utilize internet facility.

1.  Minimize your social media usage and scrutinize every friend request you receive before taking it up for real life meeting. Making friends online is not bad but easily going out with online friends is not online bad but suicidal. Do not take it too serious unless you have undoubtedly established the genuineness of the person in question.



2.  Before you take an online friend serious, be very sure to have gathered and VERIFIED some vital information about the person, such as, Place of origin, place of residence, place of work, nature of work, school and dept(if a student), religion, place of worship, marital status, Friends and Friend family. Please, I repeat, Verify these information.



3. If you have any reason to pay him visit at all, Do not be the first and do not go alone. Never agree for a visit at an unfamiliar location or hidden terrain -- make it open don't keep it secret. Ensure that few of your trusted ones know about him and your intended visit.



4. Don't be moved by lies, it is very excess on the internet world. Avoid too much praise about your beauty, majority of those comment are fake. If you doubt me, try it today, post a confirm bad picture of yourself and watch those guy still yell "beautiful", "angelic", "sexy" and all sort of that.



5. Trust no one not even I the poster. In the internet world, every one is presumed guilty unless proven otherwise by counts of competent facts sorted and verified in the real world. Always bear that at the back of your mind next time you hook up for a chat with anyone.



6. Except you're a sex hawker, I do not see any reason you should accept any arrangement of a visit in a hotel. if he doesn't want you to come to his house, he must obviously have a skeleton in his cupboard. This is important, please resist any excuse as to why it must be in a hotel. Also, do not go alone especially on a first-time visit. 



7. Dress properly and descent while you embark on any visit. Do not go with any valuable, but please have some cash for your safe return and guard it jealously. Nothing is as worst and embarrassing as being at the mercy of street guys when you are stranded of cash. While you go, avoid loads of luggage it will save you stress and and help you stay at alert should anything happened that you want to save your head. Do not be tempted to go with any valuable. for instance, If you have a an expensive that you value much, please drop it at home and go with Nokia torch, also do not embark on the visit while you're returning home from school or going back to school, you might be in position of your school fees, vital school documents or other valuable which you may risk loosing. When on any visit, anywhere or anytime please be as wise as serpent and tactful as lion.



8. Last but not the least, While on social media, Be yourself, be real and have a genuine motive.Remember the law of Kamma, whatever you think or do comes back to you in equal measure. No matter who you are or how smart you're, the nature knows how to reward you in due time. If your purpose is deploying seductive maneuver sucking men pocket dry, you must definitely meet a 'sweetheart' who will use sweet lies to get you trapped and milk you dry. Remember these: Good, real and genuine people, whose motive are also real abounds on the social media -- you only meet them when you have corresponding genuine motive. Likewise, Dubious, fake and devilish people are also on social media,-- you will sure meet such people when you continue to be fake, devious and devilish.

BEWARE OH SWEETHEART!

By: Chukwuka Basil Uche

If you like the Piece, please share, who knows you might be saving the next victim, that young girl who had finalized plan to visit her fake online lover tomorrow.
Please share the piece and save a soul today.
thank you.

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THE PRETTY BLIND GIRL

There was a blind girl who was so beautiful but she hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone too, except her loving boyfriend who was always there for her. Hence, she said that if she could only see the world, she would marry the boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend then asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl was shocked and out rightly rejected the boyfriend when she saw that he was blind too. Then she refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend felt dejected and walked away in tears. After a while he wrote a letter to her saying:

“Just take care of my eyes dear.”

Lately she had realized that the boyfriend did offer his eyes for her sight to be restored.   

WHAT A LIFE!

Only few remember what life was before, and who’s always been there even in the most painful situations.

Some even go along way thinking that nobody had helped during the hard times and they were able to make it through there own power and struggle. This is not true, the fact is that nobody can make it all alone. If you can think deeper again and ready to tell your self the gospel truth, you will realize it has all being God, and not your effort. Many people are still there who have being more resilient than you, struggle more than you did and yet still wallowing in suffering and poverty. It is all by his grace.

 Therefor, when God had help you scale through the hurdles of life to become successful in life, do not forget your past.  Do not forget how you felt when you were toiling that part, remember how so much you needed help and how you wish someone could have come to your aid.

 Remember God did help and expect you to look back and do same to other people who are still toiling to come up like you did. Do not think you made it by your own strength and expect other to surfer the much you did in order to make it and if they could not make it you refer them as being dull or and lazy. 

In fact try as much as you can not to allow people around you to pass through the stress you pass to make it in life. Be of help to the people following you and do not hesitate to lead them the rightful path to progress or resolve to allow them to pass through undue stress simply because you suffered to make it and therefore everybody else must also pass through suffering to make it. 

I see it as sheer callousness occasioned by psychological imbalance to pass through hardship discovering a an easy path to a healing fountain then hide the path in order to make sure everyone did suffer to get to the fountain just as you did and anybody found wanting should be send to psychiatrist for proper examination and treatment.

Finally, when you are helped to break free from captivity, don't just hesitate get back, home forgetting your co-captives but do all you can to help them get their freedom as well, if you do not, they might release to the enemy an information that might lead to your recapture. 

An African Adage says,"Those whose palm-kernels were cracked for them by a benevolent spirit should not forget to be humble." (Chinua Achebe: Things Fall Apart)

Don't be an ingrate, when you're helped, help others.  

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