Saturday, August 27, 2016


By, Chukwuka Basil Uche


How often do you crave to get hold of little things? If your answer is very often, you are just being honest to yourself; otherwise you might wish to know further what the “little things” imply. 

Well, the truth is that there is no specific thing as little or big, it all depends on your type of individual, mindset, time and perspective which you are looking at it, little things have different meaning to different set of people at different time, different level of thinking, understanding and disposition. 

What is big for you might be so minute to the world richest man. Also, what you consider big today might indeed become so little three year to come. 

The truth is that life is like a ladder, as you climb pass every step, the view of what you left behind becomes diminished.


Unless you are not growing, there bound to be constant changing of your person, thinking and understanding. 

But mind you, no matter how big you have grown, you still have that impulse to react to things that are so trivial to your current status. 

But if you’ve learned to be in charge of your own person, you don’t come down to your small self that you have left behind, but when forced to, you always smile and let go. It is important therefore to know that one who grows is the one who always try to live above his bigness. That is one who has learnt to be lord over their ego. 

Don’t get it wrong, you grow only when you learn to sit on your ego, not your ego sit on you; what does it mean? In other to resurrect your glory, you have to burry your ego. Just as Robert H. Schuller said that, “Goal must not be from your ego, but problems that cry for a solution’’ and it is only reason that will teach you this.


Though, as it is natural for every living thing to react to external stimuli, so is everyone has this inert burning urge to react to anything that impinge on one’s ego. 

The reaction will depend on the type of surge poses by the corresponding cause. If it catches the fancy of the ego, the reaction is tends to be positive thus that the person will be manipulated to embrace the cause hastily and wholeheartedly. 
However, if the cause signals danger, there tends to be arousal of corresponding surge that create negative reaction in other to counter it. 
This explains the reason you are fulfilled when you are congratulated, and you fill so aggrieved when you are reproached.


It is as strong as the urges you feel when you perceived an aroma of a sweet smelling cooking when you’re so hungry that if care is not taken you find yourself salivate to the embarrassment of your person. 
Whereas the situation would be quite different when you do not have the appetite or when you find the smell repugnant, in any of these cases you’re naturally bound to react differently.
 It is the same as when something you thought as nothing hits your consciousness, you definitely will pay no heed to it, whilst that which you thought as very crucial, you will pursue with every force and energy you have.


 Now, consider a dog or a starved child sits beside you at the first instance, what would be the reaction? Your guess is as good as mine – gaped mouth salivation. Then you ask why do you not salivate even when you were moved to? The answer is simple and short – Personal Control.


Personal Control can be seen as self consciousness or self-control. 
It is the ability to be in charge at all-time, against all odd. 
It is the instant reawakening of the conscious mind from the state of unconscious manipulation. 
It is the power you assume to react purposefully and differently to your natural impulses. 
It is self-awareness, which is, being conscious of what you do, when you do it and why you do it. 
It is what differentiates humans from other animals – the thinking faculty or reasoning ability. Personal control is the ability to subordinate an impulse to a value which Stephen R. Covey referred to as “the essence of the proactive person”.


Logical reasoning is therefore subject to personal control. 
This is because human mind is in constant flux with existential externalities that one is always moved to act before one think. 


Hence, it is only those who are in absolute control of their mind can always take the best of personal judgement and arrive at sound logical decision at earliest possible time before they react to any cause; they always weigh the definite effect of any cause before reacting to it. “He who controls others may be powerful”, said Lao Tzu, “but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”   

Mastering control over yourself gives you makes much easier for you to master control over others. it is true that he who cannot control himself cannot succeed controlling other people. Robert E. Lee put it thus,   “I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.”

Personal Control makes you reasonable because with it, you will always act reasonably. 
It will make you weigh outcomes for an action before venturing into it, thus help you to avoid a wild goose chase. It makes you goal oriented thus helps you save your energy for things of little or no important; those things that mostly irritate the ego and make it want to revenge unnecessarily.


Weird thought it may sound but the fact, that what irritate the ego the most are things of little or no importance. Which is why a well dressed man would want to act like mad, pull off his shirt in the public just to fight a person who tell him that he is mad without simply understanding that the person just expressed his opinion and that ignoring him will only prove him wrong in the eye of the public while reacting to it will somewhat prove him right. It is the reason there is war in the world, terrorism and crime.    
If the world would embrace this fact and have a paradigm shift, there sure must be absolute peace in the world.


But wait! Who on earth doesn’t have an ego or who on earth doesn’t want to satisfy his ego? The answer is definitely none! 
Even the nations, says James Joyce, have their ego, just like individuals. 
Ego is the nature of human, a survival mechanism. It is the ego that makes you who you are, it makes you want to stand tall above others; it is in fact what keeps the world moving. 
But ego seeking is what has made the mighty fallen, it is what make a nation fight a nation and kingdom rises above kingdom.  It has set into the world an unquenchable fire that is verging to bring it into ruin.


Hence, it is not only nonsensical but also suicidal to seek to satisfy all your ego’s prompts. The voice of ego speaks of instant gratification, personal glory, pride, anger and violence. So be careful when it speaks.  
Always be in control, whatever comes to your mind to do, give it a second thought. Dale Carnegie once wrote in his book how to win friends and influence people that “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” 


While Ego calls mostly for instant outrageous action, thought calls for reason; your misdeeds depend largely on the level of your ego seeking, while your principles lie so much on the level of your thinking. 

The only product of thinking is thought. 
It is therefore only the absolute control of thought that will guide one through rightful action and positive outcome. 
It queries you on what you stand to gain or lose if you should engage in a fight with someone that insulted you publicly. It will make you guard your utterances when you felt provoked and make you smile at things others will felt so provoked about. 

It is your thought that determines the way your mind will translate issues around you. In fact it is your thought that will guide you through proper decision making. 
It is your thought that makes you who you are and determine what you will become.
Sadness and joy, trouble and peace, sickness and health likewise every other state of being all depend on thought.
Therefore guard your thought, always think, think and think before you act!

Thank you.


Sunday, May 29, 2016

So your teen might have passed their driver’s test with flying colors and aced their latest history test, but what about money matters? While you might get an eye roll from your teen when it comes to teaching them about, say, the importance of saving their money, it’s essential that they have a solid understanding of core financial concepts that will set the stage for their success as adults. Here are six things about money that every teen should know, and a few savvy ways you can help give your teens a financial education:


1. How to create a budget.

As we all know, budgeting is an essential part of managing our finances. One way you can teach your teen how to track their expenses and cash flow is by a system of envelopes, suggests Paul Vasey, founder of CashCrunch Games.

“Teens need to realize that they can only spend a dollar once,” explains Vasey. “They have infinite wants and finite resources, and therefore need to make choices. Once their money has been spent, it cannot be spent again. By getting them to realize that they have choices, and also, if they do not buy the product that day, their lives will probably not come crashing down around them.”

You can work with your teen on saving for a family summer trip. How much will they save for shopping and eats during the trip? How will they allocate their spending?


2. How to save for a rainy day. 

Instead of treating you as the bank, have a chat with them on how they can save for unforeseen expenses, or maybe just for things they’ll need to save up for. Bill Dwight, founder of FamZoo.com, requires that his kids set aside a few hundred dollars in a separate account. “That way, they can cover that first parking ticket, stolen bike, or broken iPhone without relying on a bailout from mom and dad,” Dwight explains.

If you’re a member of a local credit union, can contact your local branch to look into opening a savings account for your teen. It’s a great way to introduce them to the world of tracking their spending and managing their money.


3. The differences between credit and debit cards. 

Knowing the major differences between how credit and debit cards and how to go about applying for one. This can also introduce them to how interest works, and what happens if they don’t pay a credit card on time.

You can show them how to track their spending on their phone, and how to set limits and alerts on their credit card spending through apps such as CardNav(sm) by CO-OP.


4. How student loans work.

Even if you opened a college fund for your child, with the soaring costs of higher education, there’s a good chance that your teen will need to sniff out funding on their own. Talk with them on expectations on who will be paying for what, and what they’ll be responsible for.

Teaching them about how student loans work, the different options and plans for repayment, and their responsibility on paying it back will also help them be prepared for when they are full-fledged adults and have to make major purchases that require good credit.

If you currently have student debt, you could talk to them about your personal experience with paying off your loans. Opening the doors to communication could help them not only have a firmer grasp on student debt, but also your teen will know they can come to you with any questions.


5. How to earn a buck.

Get them started on earning their own money by getting a summer or afterschool gig. It’s a great opportunity to teach them how to read a pay stub, so they understand how income taxes are deducted.

If your teen has a passion for something, such as crafty wares, programming, or woodworking, you can work with them on potentially starting their own business. Being a young entrepreneur will teach them valuable skills that will help them down the road.


6. How investing works.

While you might not necessarily get into specifics and do a deep dive on investing, understanding how the economy and stock market works and learning basic terms such as “bull” and “bear market” will help your teen be more educated when it comes time for them to invest.

If you can afford to do so, one thing you can do to give your teen a jump-start on investing is to play what Dwight of FamZoo calls the “Family 401(k),” where after your teen gets their first summer job, you can work with them on opening a Roth IRA. You can sweeten the pot by offering to match their contributions. One thing you can also do is invest the money in a low-cost, diversified index fund. “This practice rewards hard work while teaching your teens the power of matching opportunities, compounding, index funds, long term investing, dollar cost averaging [if you do it each year], and tax­-advantaged savings,” explains Dwight.



By taking the time now to teach your teens fundamentals about money, they’ll have the financial smarts to succeed as adults

Sunday, May 22, 2016

 Today I want us to dwell on the power of thinking and its' connection to becoming. This is a key aspect of personality building, simple also but most difficult to understand. The reason being that thought at times comes involuntarily and tends to be very difficult to control. This therefore formed yet another important sub to the topic of discussion -- how best to control your thought. 

The issue of mind control is as much as self control. Hence anyone who can control him/her mind would sure have no problem controlling his/herself, thinking and actions. It is the mind that initiate it all, the thinking, then the thought triggers the body to action. Thus, whatever that man does starts right from the mind. Think of the platform you are reading this at the moment, think of the school you attended, think of the house you are leaving in, think of the bank, the cloths, all once an idea resided in someone's mind before it came to manifestation.

Nothing made by human that has not once existed in the mind before it came to be. This shows a strong connection between Mind, Thought, actions and Manifestation. The body is in perpetual communication with the mind and mostly works on it's instructions.

If you are a student of computer, you will understand the body as a computer hardware, the mind as the software, the thought as a program bits and the brain as the processor.  You will also understand the process of thinking as a software programing, the way the computer works depends on the programme written in the software, if the right codes are written into the software, the computer does the right thing, but if the wrong code is written into the software, the computer either misbehave or crashes. 

Same is applicable to human beings, when the positive thoughts are constantly fed to the mind the person has no other option that to become positive, while in other case the negative thoughts are constantly fed to the mind the person definitely turns out to become negative.

What this mean therefore, is that the mind is the power of manifestation. whatever that is placed in the mind, unless removed and replaced, must come to manifest. why did I said replaced? Because the mind is such a retentive entity that whatever that it holds, lingers even when it is removed unless it is replaced entirely. This is sure an important way to control your mind.

In other to be in absolute control of your mind, you must first of all learn to remove and replace unwanted thoughts from your mind. It is very important you decide what you want your person to manifest, examine your mind and get rid of any contradicting thought, then replace with the positive thought about your  desired person, as soon as this is achieved, you will see your self becoming that which you desired to become. At times negative thoughts do not just left as easy as that, but with constant countering with the positive thinking, you wont even know when it get lost.


The next is act. It is very important when you think you act. Thus, Norman Vincent Peal puts it, "if you want a quality, act as if you already have it, if you want to be courageous, act as if you were - and as you act and persevere in acting, so you tend to become". Aristotle rather put it this way, "Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way. You become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions". Therefore you become what you think and act.

By
 Chukwuka Basil Uche

...To be continued.
 



 

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Being a student, especially in the later years of Secondary school and the higher institution years, can be a time when you are finally given the independence that you craved. 
At the same you haven’t learned exactly how to manage your life between the educational and personal developments that seems to occur at an increasing rate.
 Getting your plans and time sorted out is vital to your success in these educational years, so if you are looking for some guidance on how best to arrange yourself, then here are seven of the best self-management tips all students should know.
1. Sleep
First and foremost, you need to be getting a good night’s sleep as often as you can. After all, your brain needs just as much rest as any other organ to operate at its full capacity, and if it is running on empty it is not going to serve you in the best way that it can.
2. Eat
A healthy diet is also essential during these stressful times at school. The more good fuel your body has, the more inspired and motivated you are going to be to get your work done and perform at a good energy level. Lots of fruit and vegetables will keep you feeling good and strong.
3. No Skipping
Experts at Assignment Masters cannot stress enough just how important it is that you do not skip any of your classes. There will always be vital information given out in every class that could be the key to unlocking the idea for your final project; you should always be ready and present.
4. Calendar
Buy a calendar and make notes of every single deadline and class that you have. This way you will always be on top of the places you have to be and what times you have to be there. One of the worst things that could happen is for you to complete an assignment but hand it in a day too late.
5. Technology Balance
Make the effort to balance out your use of certain technology and social media platforms. They are the number one culprit for procrastination amongst today’s student body, and training yourself to stay away when you are writing your assignments can be really beneficial.
6. Study Groups
If you are the kind of student who finds it nearly impossible to be productive alone, then make the most of all the different study groups that your school or college offers. There you will be able to work alongside people who are motivated and their motivation will spur you into action and make you much more productive.
7. Don’t Over Commit
The mixture of personal and professional life at college can sometimes be overwhelming. Balancing these two aspects can be tough, but it is important to try not to over commit to activities on either side. Always leave time at the end of a day to review your studies so you can go in to the next day’s classes ready and prepared.

Sunday, May 8, 2016


A farmer had a dog that used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around.
As soon as one came he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it.


One day a neighbor asked the farmer "Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?" The farmer replied, "That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one."


Are you living your life like that dog who continually pursue what it has no knowledge of what to do with when he succeeded in catching it ? or do you look before you leap?


What are you pursuing in life? What is your sole aim for going after it?  If you do not think of any useful aim why bother  yourself pursuing it at all? Why waste your time pursuing that which you know is of no use to you? Why waste your precious time in futility? 


These are very important questions the wise ones ask that the fools never bother to ask before pursuing any undertaking in life. It is the instinct of a man to acquire but it is the skill of the wise ones to seek after the required. The wise ones draw to themselves only what they actually required, while the fools always seek to acquire whatever their senses can perceive whether needful or not. The following are other differentiating traits between a fool and a wise one :

THE FOOL

Just like the dog mentioned above, the fools pursues whatever that come their way with no reasonable aim of what value it contribute to their life, nor any knowledge if it is of any use at all. 

A fool delves into every venture without the prior knowledge of  its' value, required skills, risk involve, benefits and disbenefits.

He is moved by his innate sensitiveness, not sensibleness thus he always respond to his instinct of vicariousness and continues to acquire what are not necessarily required.

He does not let go of trivialities and can waste his entire life fighting for just no course, whenever he felt his 'right' is tampered with, without considering if such a right is worth the fight at all. 

He battles to maintain unnecessary protocol even when such contribute no values to life. 

He makes if needless issue and unnecessarily expect others to respect him while he do not care to respect himself.  

He is a glutton who would always want to eat, even though not hungry, whenever he sights or perceive an aroma of anything seeming to him to be food. 

Unfortunately, his life always ends up in a big irony -- he pursue all and achieve non.


THE WISE ONE

Conversely, the wise one always looks before he leaps. 

He always let go of frivolities and goes after substance and its' essence.  

He is very calculative of whatever his undertaken have to offer at the end. 

He assesses whatever he pursues, where, when and how to go about it, and always arms himself with needful knowledge of it all, the expected risk, and the outcome before undertaking any venture. 

He is a genus who only strike at the essence and let go of the trivial. 

He do not engage in a fight that will never end up resulting in needful value. 

When his right is involved, he always weighs the right, the fight and mark, then make the best judgement to engage in the fight if the right is worth the mark or to let go of the right if the fight is not worth the mark. 

He controls his selfish instinct and always goes only for the needful. 

He always respects himself and do not unnecessary expect others to respect him. 

He is not a glutton,  but only eats when it is needful to eat. 

He is a man who does everything with reason and such a man after his life continues to impact the lives of men.


Now that you've know, which do you choose to become, the wise or the fool?


Choose to become a fool? 
Continue to chase shadow while you left behind the substance.
Wine and dine in futility then die shamefully in absurdity. 
Seek to acquire all and then end up achieving non.


Choose to become a Wise?
Then learn to let go of frivolities and chase after the substance and essence. 
Fight your innate inordinate desires, selfishness and gluttony. 
Seek after what you required not what to acquire.  
Learn to let go of right which is of not reasonable value.
Before you fight have a clear view of the need, the end and your gain, if there is any reasonable need,  then arm yourself and embark on the fight, if there is no need at all, hold on, sheet your sword and call for a dialog. 



NOTE: 
''If you want be wise, you should learn to respect yourself for the wise ones respect themselves while the fools expect other to respect them''

''Always have a reason for whatever you do for acting out of reason is what make people unreasonable''
By 
chukwuka Basil Uche



If you are alive, you are better off.
Do not wish to be like others but be yourself and always try to be  your better self. Know that wherever you are, there are always some people who crave to be there. whoever you crave to become also crave to become someone else -- such is life! Whatever life gives to you  is all for your own good. Accept it and life a happy life but deny it and face a great woe. 


Do not be ungrateful with what life offers you but with much enthusiasm and thankful heart, work with what you have. It is only when you appreciate what you have that you obtain what you do not have.  

The following line from an unknown author is a great inspiration that will help to drive home the point:

Before you think of saying an unkind word – think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food – think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life – think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children – think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep – think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive – think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job – think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another – remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down – put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift – Accept it, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.



Saturday, May 7, 2016

What is it that bothers you in life? 
Which problem is it that had left you in a great dilemma? 
Have you lost hope and concluded that that life is very unfair to you?
You have gotten it all wrong, life is no unfair to you neither do God hate you.
But that which you see as natures unfairness to you is a hard nut inside which lies a great fortune for your greatness. 


This a an irrefutable fact of life and only few have come to realize it, such are the true great men there are in the world. 


SILVER SPOON ANALOGY


True great men are not those born with silver spoon in their mouth but are those who realized they had only the wooden spoon, try hard to use the wooden spoon to dig deep into life in order to explore the untapped gold mine and used it to fashion out for themselves an enviable golden spoon which life can not just give to anyone.


 It is only those born with wooden spoon that have the natural endowment  to dig deep into the nature's untapped gold mine, those who are born with silver spoon always felt that life is fairer to them so they are better of and as such need no struggle in life. they are not naturally endowed to discover, they are born consumers of this world. This is no surprise because no one will like to dent his sparkling silver in the filthy of the earth, but if you had a wood and know that the silver you envy is in the earth, you would not mind but use your wood to dig. It is then when you dig you realize that the life has a better in store for you, the gold, which can not just be giving out without the dig.


When a life had presented you with a wood, don not wait but dig, it is only the strongest of this world that wood are giving with the sole aim to dig out for the hidden treasures of the world. Those are the people who dig out for solutions to problem of the world  and making the world a better place. 


 Do not envy the man born with a silver spoon, he will definitely end up dinning in a silver plate unless he is wise enough to use it for a wood and dig like the one who has gotten a wooden one in order to acquire the golden plate which is only hidden beneath the filthy earth of this world.  


No problem is a disadvantage for the wise. it is only a fool that lays blames for each problem he encounters, he blame God, blame himself, blame the devil, the witches and wizards, in fact everyone including the generation yet unborn. The wise only engages his brain when challenged with a problem, come up with solutions and spread it for his own joy and the betterment of the society at large. 


Whatever life had offered you is for a purpose geared towards your greatness, the only task you have to make it real is dig, the deeper you dig the closer you become to your greatness. Never you complain or lay blames when life had given you a wood, just dig! 

Monday, April 25, 2016



Vivian was once invited to address a group of students and other invitees in a nearby school during a student symposium. She was well prepared ahead of time and very vast in the area she was given to deal on as a successful entrepreneur.
At first, she was very excited when she got the invitation; for the first time she will be opportune to do what she's being admiring the public speakers doing. She was so eager to discharge the message and can’t wait for the d-day. She had taken her time constructed every line and have it presented to her close associate, as she would to her audience. It was for sure a very marvelous speech and the friend had applauded her for the way and manners she presented it in her presence.

Her hope was very high for the score as she drove to the venue on the day of the presentation but got disappointed by the beating of her heart on sighting the large audience she was going to address. Her legs literary cease immediately she was called to the podium. She manages to walk up to the stage amid cheering noise and applauds of hundreds of spectators waiting to hear from her. Her legs tremble and her heart pounds nonstop. Her mouth immediately got dried up and she felt tremor all of her body. she suddenly became blunt as she manage to start her presentation, and the rest became a tale of humor and mockery. It was something but a great outing for her, a devastating one indeed!

Vivian is not alone. A lot of teens and youths also have or have had same experience in their life. It is called Stage fright or performance anxiety. It is the anxiety, fear, or persistent phobia which may be aroused in an individual by the requirement to perform in front of an audience, whether actually or potentially (for example, when performing before a camera). 

In the context of public speaking, this may precede or accompany participation in any activity involving public self-presentation. In some cases stage fright may be a part of a larger pattern of social phobia (social anxiety disorder), but many people experience stage fright without any wider problems. Quite often, stage fright arises in a mere anticipation of a performance, often a long time ahead. It has numerous manifestations: fluttering or pounding heart, tremor in the hands and legs, sweaty hands, facial nerve tics, dry mouth, and dizziness.

Studies reveal Stage fright may be observed in people of all experiences and backgrounds, from those completely new to being in front of an audience to those who have done so for years. It is commonly known among everyday people and may, for example, affect their confidence in job interviews. It also affects actors, comedians, musicians, and politicians. Many people with no other problems can experience stage fright, but some people with chronic stage fright also have social anxiety or social phobia which is chronic feelings of high anxiety in any social situation. 

Stage fright can also be seen in school situations, like stand up projects and class speeches.

It usually start by feeling sensation of being scared or nervous, when this occurs the individual involved start to experience anxiety.
According to a Harvard Mental Health Letter, "Anxiety usually has physical symptoms that may include a racing heart, a dry mouth, a shaky voice, blushing, trembling, sweating, light headedness, and nausea". 
It triggers the body to activate its sympathetic nervous system. This process takes place when the body releases adrenaline into the blood stream causing a chain of reactions to occur. This bodily response is known as the "fight or flight" syndrome, a naturally occurring process in the body done to protect itself from harm. "The neck muscles contract, bringing the head down and shoulders up, while the back muscles draw the spine into a concave curve. This, in turn, pushes the pelvis forward and pulls the genitals up, slumping the body into a classic fatal position", explained the Letter.

It is in trying to resist this position that the body begin to react. This causes shake in places such as the legs and hands. Several other things happen besides this. The muscles in the body contract, causing them to be tense and ready to attack. Second, "blood vessels in the extremities constrict". This can leave a person with the feeling of cold fingers, toes, nose, and ears. Constricted blood vessels also gives the body extra blood flow to the vital organs.

In addition, those experiencing stage fright will have an increase in blood pressure, which supplies the body with more nutrients and oxygen in response to the "fight or flight" instincts. This, in return, causes the body to overheat and sweat. Breathing will increase so that the body can obtain the desired amount of oxygen for the muscles and organs. Pupils will dilate giving someone the inability to view any notes they have in close proximity, however, long range vision is improved making the speaker more aware of their audience's facial expressions and nonverbal cues in response to the speaker's performance.

Lastly, the digestive system shuts down to prepare for producing energy for an immediate emergency response. This can leave the body with the effects of dry mouth, nausea, or butterflies'.

Stage Fright as we have seen above from Vivian's case is a very dangerous disease that is not worth living with but the good news is that it is curable. In fact Vivian was able to get over it, "after that embarrassing experience", she said, "I went back home completely devastated and demoralized to the extend I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks before a friend of mine intervened, she brought me some books that I read for the solutions. The authors of the books all pointed on same direction which is change of attitude. I heeded to the instruction and my next outing was wao!", she narrated. 

According to an online source (Wikipedia), "many famous people have had stage fright and were able to overcome their problem. Such stars as Al Jolson, Brian Wilson, Virginia O'Brien, Michael Gambon, Lorde, Jason Alexander, Mose Allison, Maya Angelou, David Brenner, Peter Coyote, Olympia Dukakis,Richard Lewis, Barbra Streisand, Adele, Niall Horan, Frankie Howerd, Jackie Evancho, Mariah Carey, Amanda Seyfried and many more have dealt with performance anxiety.

In some cases, famous stars have struggled to cope with their anxiety. Hugh Grant says he got through one film only by filling himself "full of lorazepam." In 2006, English Pop Star Robbie Williams cancelled his record breaking Stadium tour due to severe stage fright. He didn't tour again until 2013.”

The following tips can help you get over stage freight:
  •  Shift the focus from yourself and your fear to your true purpose—contributing something of value to your audience.
  • Stop scaring yourself with thoughts about what might go wrong. Instead, focus your attention on thoughts and images that are calming and reassuring.
  • Refuse to think thoughts that create self-doubt and low confidence.
  • Practice ways to calm and relax your mind and body, such as deep breathing, relaxation exercises, yoga, and meditation.
  •  Exercise, eat well, and practice other healthful lifestyle habits. Try to limit caffeine, sugar, and alcohol as much as possible.
  • Visualize your success: Always focus on your strength and ability to handle challenging situations.
  • Prepare your material in advance and read it aloud to hear your voice.
  •  Make connections with your audience: Smile and greet people, thinking of them as friends rather than enemies.
  • Stand or sit in a self-assured, confident posture. Remain warm and open and make eye contact.
  • Give up trying to be perfect and know that it is OK to make mistakes. Be natural, be yourself.



Sunday, April 24, 2016

Greatness entails the quality of outstanding importance or eminence, illustriousness, fame or renowned. Great one is the one who is important in the society and worthy of note; the one whose name is written in gold in the book of history and carried along from generation to generation. Great men are honorably selfless: the one who gave up his sleep for others to sleep; the one who gives himself headache in order to heal others headache. Great men even though they die, their names and deeds remain immortal.

Greatness is not physical wealth even though it attracts physical wealth. It is the wealth of mind, and only the wealthy of mind attains it. That is the reason why majority desires to be great while few made it to greatness.

Shakespeare rather opined, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them"(William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night). 

Although that seems to be true, but definitely not what it is, we should try not to misunderstood wealth with greatness. Greatness is not an inheritance but achievement, a score of rightful decision, determination and hard work. It is not luck but a choice. 

Everyone is born great, but not everyone chooses to be great. Yes, greatness is in the mind and everyone poses a mind; but it is a choice, a course and the score. Do not be misunderstand it, wealth can be inherited not greatness. You can only inherit wealth not greatness. Someone can make you wealthy but you can only make yourself great.Yes people can help you in your part of greatness but they can never make you become great, you choose it and give it  yourself.

You must choose to be great and follow the right route to greatness; the end lies the score of the successful journey - greatness.  Lucius Annaeus Seneca rightly observed, "It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness".

The truth is this, if you want to be great, think and act great. This is because greatness doesn’t come through desire alone. You have to think then “act.” Aristotle’s promise is this: "if you want a virtue, act as if you already have it and then it will be yours." Change comes through action, and action comes through thinking. You must think first, Act, then you become. It is natural, you become what you think, thus Paul wrote, “...be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."(Romans 12:2)

The Patron Saint of Manliness, Teddy Roosevelt, also lived by this principle of acting in order to become.  He said:
"There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to “mean” horses and gun-fighters; but by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid".

Teddy wanted to be fearless even though he wasn’t. Instead of sitting around and thinking his way into courage, he put himself into dangerous and uncomfortable situations and acted courageously. Eventually he became the man who led the charge up San Juan Hill and journeyed down an unexplored river in the Amazon. He took action in order to become the man he wanted to be.

Modern psychologists have a theory on why acting-to-become is such an effective way of changing who you are and how you feel about yourself, this is termed cognitive dissonance. It explains that when there is a conflict between your self-perception and how you’re actually behaving, you experience dissonance or tension, and your brain moves to close the gap by shifting how you feel about yourself to match how you’re acting.


Hence, if you want to achieve greatness, you must not see it as ”luck" but as an achievement based upon right decision and hard work. You must take the decision, trade the path and land to that glorious city of greatness. 

Don't be confused, greatness doesn't mean being "master of all", it means being outstanding in a particular field of endeavor. Knowing what to do, when to do it and how best to do it. It must not have a something so big or overwhelming but that little thing you have interest at doing, with must effort and dedication, you can work to make it big. Ray Lewis thus said, "Greatness is a lot of small things done well. Day, after day. Workout after workout. Obedience after obedience. Day after day". Ziz Ziglar in his submission stated that you do not have to be great to start but you start to be great.

Greatness calls for creativity and innovation. Doing what everyone else has been doing but in different way and come out big with a different landmark result. The difference you make is what makes you great. It is the difference that people sees and reference you for, as no great man ever acclaim himself great. William Hazlitt is on the same page when he put, "No really great man ever thought himself so" (William Hazlitt Whether Genius is Conscious of Its Powers?) 

You're not great if you've not make any difference and people have not seen any reason to talk about you. Greatness is not an ordinary occurrence for ordinary people; it is a great task that you must first condition your mind for. It requires feeling and acting beyond ordinary, overall transformation of your ordinary person into extraordinary being, thinking differently and seeing things in the eye a great man.

 In the words Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night." 

 A Yiddish Proverb also says, "If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep."   

Above all, seek divine presence as no one would claim he has power of his own and it is only with God that you can do all things. (cf Philippians 4:13). 
In the words of Albert Einstein, "When the solution is simple, God is answering." 

Thus Lucius Annaeus Seneca submits, “It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a God."
It is in you! So start now, make the right choice, follow the right course, think it, act it and you will definitely become great!

Wednesday, April 20, 2016













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